adulting

The Dark Side of Mindfulness

Mindfulness will definitely lead to all kinds of “good” stuff, but (And you knew there was going to be a but.) being mindful also means that you’re fully aware of and present for EVERYTHING that’s going on in our life. And life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes it’s painful, frustrating, and downright uncomfortable.

On Dirty Laundry: Mental And Emotional Cleansing

So as I washed this laundry - by hand- I felt a little more free with every clean item. And with that freedom came thoughts and inspiration. I thought about how physical dirty laundry is a metaphor for mental and emotional dirty laundry. The thoughts, beliefs, emotions, regrets, resentment, fears that we carry around in the backs of our minds at all times, not dealing with them, not cleaning them out. 

Mindful Monday: Acceptance Doesn't Mean Letting Bad Things Happen

Acceptance has been on my mind more than usual lately as I’ve struggled to accept certain things in my life and the world as a whole. I’ve also noticed people around me and society as a whole struggle to accept what is. Through these observations, I realized that even though I’ve mentioned acceptance in many of my writings, I’ve never actually defined it or gone into much depth as to what I mean when I say acceptance. 

Mindful Monday: Complaining

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I can be a world class complainer. Mostly in my head. But it’s still complaining even if I don’t say it outloud. Which is something I definitely do as well. 

Far more than I’d like. Often without thinking. 

Mindful Monday: Mindfulness of Emotions

I’ve been feeling some things the last day or so. By things, I mean emotions. More uncomfortable emotions than I’d care to feel. There’s some good ol’ sadness, anger, and resentment mixed in with a bit of fear and regret. I’d rather not feel this way so there’s been some resistance to feeling them. Which is never helpful. But alas I’m as human as the next person, no matter how much I try to fight it. 

On Loving Our Environment

A week long global climate strike has started today. It might seem odd to write about the environment on a therapist’s blog, but when it comes down to it our environment greatly influences our mental health and overall well-being. Also, I am an outdoor therapist so it makes sense. 

Mindful Monday: Transforming Fear

Yesterday, I went for a bike ride. It was as a part of Ciclavia, an event in Los Angeles that shuts down miles of Los Angeles streets to cars so that people can bicycle, skateboard, roller skate/blade, run, walk, etc. Long as it’s person and not motor powered, you can move about however you want. I’m a big fan of this Ciclavia. It’s an opportunity to safely explore areas of Los Angeles in a different way. 

Mindful Monday: Quitting

Last week I quit something. Something kinda big. A work project. Because it wasn’t good for me. 

Historically, I haven’t always been very good at quitting things. I grew up with a belief that you see things through ‘til the end of time. Some might call that loyal and noble. Others might call it stupid. I’d say it’s a bit of both depending on the situation. But that’s all judgment anyway and we’re trying not to do that here. 

On Transformation

Or metamorphosis.

Last week, while out gardening, I found a monarch butterfly chrysalis. This beautiful light green and gold accented shell hung inside an empty container in the midst of its transformation. Being the nature geek that I am, I did a happy dance. I’d never seen one out in the wild (The wild being an urban backyard.).

On the Minimalism of People (AKA The Minimalism Series Part 2)

I’ve always been a people person. Even though I certainly have my introverted side too. I just love human beings in all their glory, hilarity, and messiness. I find people absolutely fascinating, which is important since boring is my kryptonite, and I can generally find something to like about everyone. If I don’t like you, then you started it. And you know who you are!

Mindful Monday: When It's Hard

What mindfulness does is it allows you to see the experience for what it truly is. Without all the extras I was initially throwing on it. Mindfulness in this particular instance was an opportunity for me.

On the Messiness of Life (Or Being the Dirty Kid)

Part of the beauty of life is its messiness and completely involving yourself in that messiness. It’s joyful and sad and frustrating and surprising and exciting and angering and scary and full of love and adventure and challenges and ups and downs.

Don't Confuse Drama for Passion

We're often hurt in relationships. Unfortunately, this usually begins at a young age. Sometimes intentionally. But more so often because someone else was hurt before us and they’ve never healed from that. So we carry the generations of pain into our current relationships.

Mindful Monday: Transforming Fear to Courage

One thing I noticed in particular as I looked at these movements (whether big or small) is that  the struggle between fear and courage is always at the forefront. As I made my way to present day, I reflected on how badly some people want a wall between the United States and Mexico. While I won’t pretend to know the first thing about border security, I do know that if we’re putting up walls, figuratively or for real, it’s because we’re afraid.